Monday, June 2, 2014

Haven't Been Here In A Long Time

I find it so...
mind blowing.

The swiftness, and ease that time slips through my fingers and presents me at a new door.

A door to the next me,
me of tomorrow.

Someone different, someone new.

Regenerating, creating new cells. Aged cells.
I'm blossoming. I'm opening up to the calm.
I am calm.

I never thought I'd see the other side, I thought I'd be stuck under the waves, in the darkness.

And now that I'm here, I'm baffled that the old me even existed. I don't even feel the same.
I don't feel a cloudiness in my head.

Clarity, all I find is clarity. I'm positively growing, even in my mellow state. Even as I sit here, I'm breathing, living, recreating, growing.
I'm becoming closer to what God wants in me, what he saw in me in the beginning.
I only pray that I've kept my humility and kindness, and that I am not mundanely falling into mediocrity or shallowness because I have received everything I have asked for. Is it possible to see that within myself? Without being biased? Would I be able to tell if I am still kind? Still humble?

I pray it is so.
and I pray, I pray just to pray, to keep my faith alive.
God don't let it slip past my fingertips, the comfort... let the comfort stay within my reach and in a believing way. I trust you, I believe in you, I welcome you everyday with open arms. With unclouded judgement. That even though I may stay silent within my head most days, that my heart continually calls out to you, cries out to you. With love, adoration, and worship.

Surround me with your love, even more than I already am. I am selfish for your love, for your presence. So present me with my next step, I crave the consistent "moving forward" keep me moving forward. I ask for the next challenge.

And introduce me to new faces,
God I crave your presence in people. Surround me with positive God fearing people. I want so much to be in a positive environment with people who make me feel at home.

Satisfy my hunger, Oh God.