Sunday, June 20, 2010

For He's A Jolly Good Fellow.

Nobody can deny.

So, today's father's day.

And I really can't help but to be sad.
I mean, it's been like... what... five months since he passed away? But it's still so foreign to me. I mean, he's not here. There's a WHOLE PERSON missing from this house, and nothing feels the same. I keep just expecting to wake up, and *poof* oh, hey dad's back.

It just isn't right.

I can't explain it in words, nor can I even wrap my brain around it.

15 years.... 15 years he'd been around.
15 years of hugs.
15 years of laughter.
15 years of "you'll be alright"
15 years of jokes.
15 years or memories made.

And now what's left?

80 years of absence?
80 years of no big bear hugs?
80 years of sadness?
80 years of memories?

It feels so unfair sometimes.

I went to Lake City's graduation the other day to sing with choir. And I saw some teenage girl graduate getting her picture taken with her dad, he put his baseball cap on her head as she took it off to complain about him messing up her hair.

Oh how I envied her.

I cried after leaving that school auditorium,
because the realization hit me.
"He's going to miss out on me growing up."

There are so many things that are going to happen when I get older, and he won't be here for them.
Oh sadness is an awful bugger.

I could go on to tell you all about him, tell you fond memories I had of him, or the kind of person he was.
But honestly?
You would never know. Never know the person, unless you met him.
My dad.
Happy Father's Day Dad.
I miss you so much.

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