Thursday, July 22, 2010

Hello Stranger.

Where does the time go?

So school is coming up soon, and it's pretty frightening. Mom's buying a house in a town that's like Oh, I don't know five, ten miles away from where I currently live?
It's new surroundings, new people, new faces.
And especially?
A new school,
Ah nerve racking and I don't know how to feel.
I mean, I've never been too bad at making friends with people, I kinda just walk up and say "Hey! I like your (insert some sort of compliment to looks or material thing)" and that's how we hit it off. I mean I've always been kinda straight forward, if I think a human being is attractive, I will blatantly say so. Or if I like their clothing or car or something, same deal. Well, you get the picture.

But to attend some, new, unfamiliar place with faces that you don't recognize. Well, it's pretty nauseating to think of. Really, this wouldn't be the first time, I moved in the middle of seventh grade. But I was still kind of at an awkward stage, getting used to my height, and trying to figure out what I wanted to dress like, so I wasn't too bothered.
But now I mean, I'm a teenager, when you're MORE likely to be judged on looks or personality. I feel like I'm going into an audition for a job, sitting on a sticky plastic padded chair, under a dim light that flickers every third second; while the interviewer kinda stares at you, and nods as you answer the set questions. And it drives you NUTS cuz you can't tell if the twitch in that persons face was just a muscle spasm or a disapproving gesture. Man, it's like do or die out here.

I've heard alot of people say, "Well I don't care about being popular, it's just dumb high school anyway." And I being one of them, have finally decided that... I do care.

I really want to be a well liked, well-known, super cool person. You know? Like the kind of person that just gets invited everywhere, and always is waved at? Yeah, that person. Because honestly, it drives me nuts when people dislike me.


But who knows, maybe I'm in luck this year. It is after all my junior year, and well maybe that "third times a charm" saying will work out for me.
So recently I've been really really wanting to work on my creative lump of brain to get it worked out and in shape. I've been listening to really interesting and intriguing music that just gets me in the work-out-for-the-brain or "thinking" mood. I joined a website today that's all about fashion and pretty camera angles, that I hope to repetitively post pictures and work on my picture-taking-clothes-wearing art. I'm also still trying pretty hard to write music, creative original stuff that would appeal to me, as well as others.

And my good friend Ameerah and I have decided to make youtube videos together for when I move, kind of like a new age writing letters but with back and forth videos. I'm really excited, no lie.

Eh I dunno, my whole creative vibe has just begun because I honestly don't know what to do after high school. Art and music sound GREAT, but what do I want to do in those fields?

Hence the "work out mode" I've wanted to put myself in.

Too bad I couldn't put that to working off the spare tire around my middle. haha

Speaking of spare tire, I'm off to add more baggage to my middle, we ordered a GIANT pizza for dinner and Ameerah is scolding me for not enjoying it with the rest of the 'fam'
woot for pudgy bellies!


And thus I've decided I need to write more often, I'm pretty dang good.

P.S. Optimism is still Golden Pony Boy.

1 comment:

  1. I think I remember that move, back in 07 huh? :o
    I can totally relate, it always feels great to be liked, right? Last year I took all my classes online with real teachers and students, a huge change from years homeschooling. Let me tell ya, I wanted to be liked. (Though now having gone to school with my friend, she is utterly convinced I'm the next Einstein or something *shrug*)

    I always thought the same about highschool, its not about popularity, but maybe that's just the voice of what we know is practical clashing with our inner desires heh. I don't really know the psycology of it all, but then again, not every mystery needs be figured out all in a night right? ;)

    Well judging from my experience... I think you'll be liked! ;) Anyway, people all over the place like you :D Good luck with the move and the new school year :)