Thursday, February 17, 2011

I Am The Most Beautiful Creature In The World.

I am the most beautiful creature.
It might be a hard thing to see sometimes, but despite all the cracked and rough edges of my frame,
I am beautiful.

I am suddenly coming to the point where this is all ridiculous,
THIS being how many times I let myself be sad, and let myself give up.
Read up on it, cuz it's a great thing.

When Brenna let's myself and I beat me up, it's not fair.
Because I am beautiful.
Why destroy beauty?

It's been proven the day I was born.
And God was happy about the day I was born.
So why should I curse it?

This makes me think of job.
I haven't read it all yet, but right now I'm reading through Job's rants and raves about how much he curses the day he was born because he's so convinced God hates him.
But God didn't.
Because he's got a plan for all of us.

If he hated us, then why even create us?

So this is where my line of thinking needs to change.
Because I am beautiful.

"Weep for yourself, my man, you'll never be what is in your heart. Weep little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start. Rate yourself and rape yourself, take all the courage you have left. Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head.
But it was not your fault but mine,
and it was your heart on the line.
I really fucked it up this time,
didn't I, my dear?"
-Little Lion Man
Mumford and Sons.

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